We asked people with ADHD to share the things they wish others understood about their experiences.
Their answers reveal the daily struggles that often go unseen:
1. The Struggle of Wanting But Waiting
“I’m desperate to do the thing.
I want to do it even more than you want me to.
Every second I’m not doing the thing feels unbearable.
But for now, I just can’t do it.” – Tyler Johnson
2. Caught in the Shuffle
“I keep pacing back and forth between two tasks because I can’t decide which one to start.
It’s like my brain is stuck on loading.” – Emily Carter
3. Stress as a Double-Edged Sword
“Stress can help us focus at work, but when you can’t shut it off, it quickly leads to burnout.
It’s like running on overdrive until the engine gives out.” – Michael Hayes
4. Perfectionism Without the Power
“It’s its own kind of torture to deeply crave perfection in everything you do, yet lack the energy or ability to actually reach it.
It’s a constant, painful tug-of-war.” – Sarah Bennett
5. Hearing Isn’t Always Understanding
“With ADHD, auditory processing issues are common, especially in women. I can hear you perfectly fine; I’m not losing my hearing.
The problem is, what you said either comes through as gibberish or blends with every other sound around me.
The TV, dishwasher, dog scratching, and your voice are all the same volume in my brain.
Unless I’m looking at your face while you talk, sorting it out can feel impossible.”
– Amanda Reed
6. The Struggle Between Focus and Frustration
“The sheer, irrational rage when someone innocently interrupts my hyperfocus is unreal.
And then there’s the frustration of wanting so badly to do a task, but my brain decides, ‘Nah, let’s obsess over something completely unimportant instead.'”
– Kevin Brooks
7. Anxiety on Overdrive
“Hypervigilance is absolutely draining. It’s like a bad version of what the guy in Psych does, but fueled by anxiety.
I’m picking up on tiny details, micro-expressions, a stain on someone’s tie, and spiraling into overthinking.
Do they dislike me? Where’d they eat lunch? Oh, now I’m wondering about my favorite chicken sandwich and which country invented fried chicken.
Meanwhile, Bill from Accounting is talking, and I’ve missed it all because my brain is a traffic jam of pointless thoughts. I just want to escape.” – Ryan Peterson
8. Talking at the Speed of Thought
“I’m always tripping over my words because by the time I finish one sentence, my brain has already processed a million new thoughts. Keeping up feels impossible.”
– Jamie Collins
9. A Day Defined by Disruption
“There are plenty of ADHD struggles that seem relatable at first glance, making people say, ‘Haha, yeah, I’m like that too!’ But it’s hard to convey the real depth of the issue.
Take something as simple as a doctor’s appointment later in the day, it’s like a massive wall blocking me from getting anything else done beforehand.
I’m not just procrastinating; I’m in a limbo of existence until it’s over.
The hardest part is explaining why this is such a big deal. For most people, it’s a minor inconvenience.
For someone with ADHD, it’s paralyzing.
Trying to explain what’s happening in my head feels impossible, like trying to describe why knowingly putting your hand on a hot stove feels like the only option.”
– Chris Turner
10. The Silent Struggle
“People don’t understand how exhausting it is to constantly battle your own brain just to do the simplest tasks.
And when others label you as lazy or inattentive, it cuts deep, chipping away at your self-esteem in ways they’ll never see.” – Taylor Morgan
11. ADHD: More Than Just a Focus Problem
“I wish people understood that ADHD isn’t just about struggling to focus.
It affects brain chemistry and the way different parts of the brain communicate, creating a cascade of challenges that impact every part of daily life.
Honestly, it should be renamed.
We struggle with executive function, which means even if we desperately want to do something, we might not be able to make ourselves do it.
Motivation is another hurdle, every task feels like a high priority, yet our brains don’t reward us for completing them.
Sensory issues are constant because we can’t control what to focus on and what to ignore.
For people like me, unless I’m hyper-focused, I can’t block anything out. When I do hyper-focus, I sometimes forget to breathe.
Auditory processing issues? I couldn’t tell you why we have them—maybe just to make life harder.
On bad days, speech doesn’t register as meaning, just noise, like the adults talking in Peanuts cartoons.
Then there’s emotional regulation. For me, emotions are either unbearably intense or completely absent, no middle ground.
At any given moment, there’s so much chaos in our brains that it’s no wonder we can’t pay attention.
It’s exhausting.
Sure, we poke fun at ourselves, but it’s not cute or funny.
Most of us would give anything to have our brains function normally.” – Alex Harper
12. Out of Sight, Not Out of Mind
“The lack of object permanence can be a real struggle, especially when it comes to relationships.
Sometimes I’ll go months without talking to a friend, not because I don’t care, but because they’re not physically present, and my brain just… forgets.
It’s never intentional, but it can be really hurtful to them.
Meanwhile, I can pick up the relationship like I just saw them yesterday, completely unaware of the emotional toll my absence may have caused.” – Jordan Miller
13. No Reward, Just More Tasks
“The ‘no reward for completing a task’ thing is something most people just don’t get.
It’s like the standing vs. sitting debate for wiping, neither side can understand the other.
For me, I can finish a task and feel… nothing.
It’s just done.
There’s no sense of accomplishment, just the looming reality of all the other tasks waiting for me.
Yay.” – Casey Mitchell
These insights offer just a glimpse into the challenges of living with ADHD, showing how deeply it affects every aspect of life and how much understanding can make a difference.