We asked our readers to share their funniest or most embarrassing Christmas stories. Here are the 11 funniest:
1. A Holiday Party Surprise No One Expected
“When I was a little over two years old, I had an unfortunate accident during one of my parents’ Christmas parties.
Right in front of the door, where all the guests’ shoes were neatly lined up, I decided to, well… go number two.
My parents weren’t too thrilled, but they didn’t notice right away. That is, until a drunk party guest loudly exclaimed, “Who the hell pooped on my shoes?!”
Safe to say, it wasn’t my proudest moment.” – Jason Carter
2. The Christmas Party Gift I’ll Never Live Down
“When I was 16, I worked my first job at a restaurant. The staff was always so kind to me, treating me like their little sister.
At my first Christmas party there, we had a Yankee gift swap. I brought my useless 18-year-old boyfriend as my date, which, looking back, was mistake number one.
When it was my turn, I chose a cleverly wrapped gift, only to discover… a box of condoms.
The room went completely silent. Mortified, I quickly traded them for a roll of toilet paper just to make them disappear.
To this day, people still love telling that story to embarrass me!” – Courtney Baker
3. The Scissors Chase I’ll Never Forget
“When I was about 9 years old, I got a better toy than my brother, which apparently didn’t sit well with him. He ended up chasing me with a pair of scissors!
Terrified, I bolted out of the house, screaming, and ran to my aunt’s house about a block away.
My aunt heard me yelling and rushed outside to see what was going on. I told her someone had chased me with scissors, conveniently leaving out the part where it was my brother.
She immediately called the police, and they showed up at our house.
When they arrived, my older brother started crying, then yelling at me for getting the cops involved.
I was around 9 years old, and I still think about that day sometimes. It’s such a wild memory, equal parts hilarious and a little crazy.” – Sarah Reynolds
4. The Table Slide That Ended in Stitches
“Last year at my work friend’s Christmas party, I drank way too much beer.
I didn’t know many people there, so I thought it’d be a good idea to show off by sliding across their long kitchen table on my stomach.
With some help from others pushing me for extra speed, I flew across the table… and straight through the sliding glass door.
I ended up with cuts all over my hands and face from scrambling in the broken glass and had to go to the hospital for stitches.
The party ended right there, and, unsurprisingly, I didn’t get an invite this year.” – Jake Thompson
5. The Soapy Turkey Incident
“One Christmas, my little cousin decided to help clean the turkey.
Without anyone noticing, he filled it with dish soap! When we started eating, his mouth began foaming at the table.
Luckily, I must’ve gotten a part of the turkey that didn’t have soap on it.
Most people saw my cousin’s foaming mouth and lost their appetite before even trying their food! It was chaotic and hilarious all at once.”
-Lauren Hayes
6. The Hair-Flaming Holiday Mishap
“I accidentally backed into a candle and set my hair on fire.
Luckily, I put it out quickly, but the whole house smelled like burnt hair for the rest of the day.” – Jessica Lane
7. The Unexpected Dance Partner
“At a family Christmas party, my cousin’s fiancée (who’s female and straight) got pretty drunk and started grinding on my mom.
Let’s just say it was awkward for everyone involved!” – Karen Blake
8. A Series of Unfortunate Christmas Events
“Last week, my husband’s car broke down because the fuel pump went out.
Two days ago, I got sick. And yesterday, my car had to be towed home because the thermostat failed, while my husband was driving it.
Merry Christmas, indeed.” – Lisa Morgan
9. Mismatched Gifts
“One year, my grandma decided not to label anyone’s presents because she was confident she’d just remember who each one was for.
On Christmas morning, my 6-year-old cousin opened a box to reveal some lacey lingerie meant for my aunt, and my aunt unwrapped a cozy pajama set meant for the cousin.
The room went dead silent before my grandma blurted out, “Oh, well, at least they’re both for bedtime!”
That line has become a family classic, and we now double-check all the tags every year.”
– Jessica Miller
10. Stranded in 1985, A Winter Adventure I’ll Never Forget
“Back in 1985, things were a bit different, no cell phones, and ATMs were just becoming a thing.
I was driving the six-hour trip to my parents’ house around 2 a.m. when my car’s clutch burned out.
With no other options, I grabbed some supplies, bundled up (it was in the 20s), and walked about 10 miles to the nearest town.
Luckily, the convenience store was open, and an old farmer happened to be there. He kindly drove me to my car, hooked it up with chains, and towed it to the local auto shop. But that’s where the real struggle began.
Since the hotel wouldn’t accept out-of-town checks, I was effectively homeless for the next three days while waiting for my car to be fixed.
I wandered around town, sleeping near a grocery store incinerator when they were burning boxes, or digging a trench and building a fire to warm up the ground before sleeping.
One kind clerk even let me crash in the game room of the convenience store for a night.
After three long days, the part finally arrived, my car was fixed, and I was able to finish my trip. It’s a memory that sticks with me to this day.” – Frank Miller
11. The Turkey with a Plastic Makeover
My mom was getting older at the time, and during one Christmas dinner prep, she accidentally put the turkey in a regular Ziploc bag instead of an oven bag. When the bag melted in the oven, it shrank and created a perfect plastic layer stuck to the turkey skin.
No matter what we tried, we couldn’t get that plastic off! Needless to say, it was one memorable holiday dinner.
-Michael Carter
No matter how chaotic or amusing the holidays get, it’s these unforgettable stories that make Christmas truly magical and worth sharing.