We asked our readers: “What’s the creepiest thing a child has ever said to you?”
Their answers range from chilling to downright hilarious:
1. A Chilling Goodnight Moment
“I was putting my two-year-old to bed when he said, “Goodbye, Dad.”
I told him, “No, we say goodnight.” He replied:
“I know. But this time, it’s goodbye.”
Let’s just say, I checked on him a few times to make sure he was still there.”
– Jason Miller
2. A Misunderstood Burial Plan
“When I was about 3, we had a cat that gave birth to stillborn kittens. I asked my dad if we could make little crosses for them, and he agreed.
As he was making them, I asked:
“Aren’t those too small?”
Dad: “What do you mean?”
Me: “Aren’t we going to nail them to them?”
After a long pause, my dad said, “We’re not going to do that.”
Me: “Oh.”
– Rachel Harper
3. A Chilling Poolside Moment
“My child once said:
“Daddy sleep”
Then tried to push my head underwater at the pool.”
– Eric Daniels
4. A Sweet Moment Turned Creepy
“This wasn’t to me, but to his grandmother. He was cuddling with her, being very sweet (he was about 3 at the time).
He gently held her face in his hands, brought his face close to hers, and said:
“You’re very old, and you’ll die soon.”
Then, he made a point of glancing at the clock.”
– Brian Walker
5. Kid Logic Gone Wrong
“I once jokingly asked: What’s the best way to get a girlfriend?
The 7-year-old replied:
“Just tell her to be your girlfriend, or she’ll never see her parents again.””
– Jake Thompson
6. A Mastermind in the Making
This reminds me of something that still cracks me up.
“A childhood friend recently found his journal from when he was about 6 or 7. One entry read something like this:
“Sometimes Mommy gardens. Sometimes Daddy works inside the house. When Daddy thinks I’m with Mommy, and Mommy thinks I’m with Daddy, I like to go into the neighbor’s garage and play with their dangerous tools.”
For some reason, the idea of tricking his parents and playing with “dangerous tools” just kills me. He has no memory of ever doing this.” – Ryan Carter
7. Terrifying Toddler Talk
“My two-year-old has been running out of rooms screaming lately, yelling, “A guy! A guy!”
I’d go into the room to check and find nothing.
When I asked what was wrong, she’d point into the empty room, whispering in terror:
“A guy!”
At first, I thought I’d need to rethink everything I believed about ghosts. Then I realized, “a guy” was actually “a fly.”
She’s absolutely terrified of flies.” – Lauren Peterson
8. A Wake-Up Call to Remember
“I was sound asleep when, at around 6 a.m., I woke up to my 4-year-old daughter’s face inches from mine.
She looked straight into my eyes and whispered:
“I want to peel all your skin off.”
I’d gotten sunburned the week before and was starting to peel. But in my groggy, half-asleep state, it was absolutely terrifying for a few seconds.
I couldn’t tell if I was dreaming or if something very wrong was happening.” – Sarah Mitchell
9. The Chicken Stalker
“I don’t have kids, but once, while visiting friends on a farm, my buddy’s youngest daughter (she was about 5 or 6) was absolutely terrified of the chickens.
I tried to explain that the chickens weren’t there to hurt us, but she wasn’t convinced.
Later, I was sitting around the fire pit, watching one of the chickens just a few feet away, when I suddenly felt hot breath in my ear. She whispered:
“See. He’s always watching.”
It was both horrifying and hilarious.” – Amanda Lawson
10. Preschool Timeouts
“I work in a preschool, so creepy things get said and done all the time. But one moment from last year stands out.
There’s a small kitchenette in our classroom where kids play house or make up pretend games. One little girl caught my attention because she was so withdrawn from the other kids.
I kept an eye on her as she played with a baby doll, gently rocking it back and forth while singing softly.
Then, without warning, she shoved the doll into the play oven, slammed the door shut, and turned to look straight at me.
In the creepiest little voice I’ve ever heard, she said:
“Sometimes bad babies go in timeout.”
Then she smiled and ran off like nothing happened. That one definitely shook me.” – Megan Taylor
11. The Man with the Snake Neck
“I was changing my daughter in front of the open closet door when she kept looking past me and laughing.
I asked her what was so funny, and she said, “The man.”
Confused, I asked, “What man?” She pointed at the closet and said:
“The man with the snake neck.”
I turned around, but nothing was there. I’m too afraid to check the history of my house to see if anything happened in that closet. At least she didn’t seem scared.”
– Kevin Rogers
12. From “Hi” to Horror
“My toddler went through a phase where she’d say “hi” nonstop. “Hi hi hi hi hi hi.”
One day, though, it came out sounding more like, “Die die die die die.” Curious (and a little uneasy), I asked, “What’s that you’re saying?”
She turned to face me, looked me in the eye, and whispered:
“Diiiieeeeeee…”
– Jessica Moore
13. An Imagination Gone Wild
“My niece was sitting on the couch with a strange look on her face. Her mom asked her what she was thinking about, and she casually replied:
“I’m imagining the waves of blood rushing over me.”
Turns out, they had visited a science museum recently that had an exhibit on the circulatory system.
One of the features was a walk-through area with giant fake blood vessels, and she was just remembering that.”
– Heather Collins
14. Sibling Logic at Its Finest
5-year-old: “Mommy, when you die, I want to put you in a glass jar so I can keep you and see you forever.”
6-year-old:
“That’s stupid. Where are you gonna find a jar that big?”
– Kelly Roberts
These spine-tingling and amusing stories remind us that kids truly have a way of saying the most unexpected things!